Posts tagged life

Let me speak for every gay man in the country.  Just because I am gay doesn’t mean that getting into a fight with me will be a hate crime! I can take a fucking punch, and I hope you can too! A good old fashion brawl never hurt anyone! I’ll buy you a beer after I kick your ass.

We all breach our own significant little worlds sometimes, that’s when we make people cry.  I don’t expect you to understand my reality, but at least I can help you understand your own.

I’m sorry that my perception of reality means that I have to hurt you in order to feel some kind of feeling, because me and the four letter lie… we don’t mix well.  Did you ever think that I was just looking back at you for the fact that I wanted to try and see something different? Trust me the sex was good, kid, but damn do you really think I would build a house with you before dropping you in the ocean tied to the same cinder blocks? No? I would love for the chance to settle down with someone, however you are not him, nor will you ever be him.

I dance from boy to boy, helping them realizing things about themselves. Which is fine, but I’d much rather settle down with someone.  Sorry, I can’t force myself to love you.  It’s impossible. 

As for my sweet honey b, I know you will read this and think, “Wow, what is he talking about?”  To tell you the truth, I’m just trying to get you and your him back on track.  I love you to death, but you two need to solve your shit.  

I’m bad at people.. but good at helping them… the whole self-realization thing. 

Perhaps this is what it means to be a cancer, to help those in need, but to never be real… or perhaps it’s because I refuse to settle for something that is not worth my time. 

Yes, I am in love with someone.  I’m not sure why, because you’re a piece of shit, but as ALEXANDER THE GREAT said to me, “It takes a piece of shit, to smell a piece of shit.”

I won’t lie, I’ve hurt people, and I’ve done it on purpose sometimes, but if you didn’t let your guard down so easy, then it wouldn’t happen.  To be so naive, to think that you’re objectified, treasured. You mean nothing to him and nothing to me.  

STOP LETTING YOURSELF PLAY THE VICTIM IN YOUR OWN LIFE. 

Cheers,

-Ry

Why can’t I get over you?

I’ll die, because I wouldn’t know what to do with that.

Forgive me if my words come out to be a little harsh, If you are looking for love at the bottom of a bottle then perhaps you’ll try to find it somewhere else when you see that there is nothing at the bottom, but other lost souls that wish to find a dying art, another bleeding heart. 

Maybe you’ll be ok with just knowing that there is satisfaction in struggle and strife but those are not the things that keep you warm at night. Perhaps you’ll find love in the pills you take, that make you feel untrue to yourself and oh so fake. Disconnected, incomplete, from a world that you were never part of to begin with, one that cast you out in the cold, but nothing could quite be as cold as the inside of yourself. 

This is not the end. You have the ability to love and care and appreciate the life you live and delve into art, into beauty that exists so much further than face value. I can tell you to smile, and I can give you some words of encouragement, but I can’t help you anymore than I can help myself, because I like you, I see the ugly world too. I see the hatred and the lies, I see the bodies that are rotting with flies. The drugs that melt the children’s brains, and turn them into zombies, being fed to them in candy canes. I’m not better than you, and you’re no better than me, but I’m here for you. The hopeless romantics, the underdogs, the cowards, the broken hearts, the fakes, the beaten, and the damned. 

You’re not an extra in the movie about yourself, you’re the main character. 
Love, Ryan

is someone to take cute pictures with and to play RE6 with that person…

LOOKING FOR APARTMENTS!

I found happiness, I see it, but obtaining happiness is harder than finding it.

Is it reality that we fight for, or an abundance of misunderstood contradictions of the word, love. We all want to find our reason and we all want to fight for something, a just cause, but how do you know if what you fight for is really what you should be fighting for. Why not just give up on the petty ones? Why not let go of the past and just open yourself to better, new horizons. We must find peace within out fragile hearts in order to completely understand the multi-verse that is our self-centered, petty lives. We are hurricanes, each moving at great speeds, and we are dangerous, loud, and spiteful to the world that created us. We have to find an end, we have to find our eye, we have to be completed. Obscured our eyes are, distorted our minds are, chaotic our hearts are. I hope you find peace one day.

I wonder if it taste like a candy bar…

Why is it I have been surrounded by loved ones so much lately, but mentally and emotionally, I have been alone since July 1st… 

as Alex says, “You’re lost.”

So I get into that size 4 dress.

Because I want to be fabulous.

I think that my mind is eating away at itself.  I’m not sure if I would rather be alone, or if I fear the cloud that lingers in silence. I found someone who is pretty much all I want, I found a perfect puzzle piece, but the depression is still there. Is it really living if you are not there.  I want to say hi to all of the people outside of my window, but all the people wave at the same time, so it’s rather unfortunate that all I look out at is a mirror.  I hope that all is well, Ryan.  I hope your  sane enough to realize that you have a serious problem and you fear to face reality, because you are your worse enemy. Your heart isn’t broken, it’s been mended, you just choose to keep playing the blame game for this drunken scene.  play it silently, darling.  Sooner or later, you’ll wake up to the hell that is reality.